I sent out an email requesting that NO TOYS, BARBIES, DOLLS, BRATZ, POLLY POCKETS, OR toy gear be bought for her this year. Instead I requested that family wanting to give her a gift could put that money towards gift cards to decorate her room or buy organizers for her room. She would like to remodel it and I would like to make the clutter disappear. I don’t think this is an absurd request at all. But I know that some of the guests might think these ideas are too impersonal and that I am taking the fun out of birthdays. I also made mention that school was starting soon and she could use some supplies as well as new clothes to get her started.
That said her gifts from all of us are bought. Not one doll or doll clothing, car, pool, pet, furniture etc in the bunch. I bought some things that appeal to her creative side and can be displayed in her room.
But what if I had sent an email or invitation requesting that guests make a donation to a charity of our naming?
That’s exactly what some parents are beginning to do. Charity birthday parties are becoming more popular as parents realize that their children have “enough stuff” and want to teach their child the importance of giving to others less fortunate and even a lesson in philanthropy. OK that sounds like a good idea, but I wonder about the comprehension skills a 4 year old would have when its explained they won’t get toys or dolls or games this year but instead other people will get things they need in Sally’s name? Are they really able to understand it?
I am not arguing the importance of giving back to those less fortunate. Every year we weed through the clothes, toys (so many toys) that have outgrown the love and use of the house. We bag it all up and send it away to Goodwill. We give throughout the year at school charity drives as well.
What would you do? Would you ever hold a charity birthday party for your child? Have you ever been to one?
I never have. I have to admit that I view those kinds of birthday parties as something more affluent families would do than us lower middle class working folk. I don’t foresee my kids ever going to one in our rural farm community either.
I just have to wonder if there isn’t a better way to teach a child about giving back and philanthropy? There are ways to volunteer your time, to make charitable donations in other ways other than to use a kids party don’t you think?
Am I just not cool enough to jump on board this latest trend in kids birthday parties? Or is there a way to teach kids the importance of charity in terms they will understand without raining on their special day?
I know I sounded cruel to family in my email. I said No More Toys. But I didn’t say please don’t go out and look for something you think will make her feel special and loved either.
Does the notion of a charity party for kids take away from the celebration of their birthday?
I think that requesting the presents be the type of thing your child really wants is a great idea as many presents are either uninteresting to the child or poorly made, cheap toys (there’s nothing wrong with cheap toys if you’re struggling financially they just break all too easily).
My son gets one big toy & everyone else gets the accessories / extras that way we can all buy a present we can afford & birthday boy gets all the bits for it (& saves my ears from “can I have”).
I don’t like the idea of the charity birthday party thing though. I would have thought that by making a child go without presents when at other birthdays the child gets lots would turn a child into hating charity. Surely a better way would be to have the kids help you when bagging up stuff for Goodwill.
I have been to a party where in stead of presents to her the little girl celebrating asked for a childrens book from each of her friends to be donated to the family mission center for moms and kids escaping abuse. In exchange each of the kids got a bood from her that she wrapped in stead of goody bags with little toys that immediately break or sugar filled treats. I really enjoyed the party. Some of the kids joined the birthday girl when she dropped off the books. That was a great way for all the kids to learn about charity without just giving money that they don’t see where its used. and they got something for being so generous. I think that gives them a good sence of giving and loving others.
I’ve actually thought about having one for my son when he turns 10. The women’s shelters here constantly need things like pillows, blankets, towels, some toiletries and kids toys for kids play area that I thought this would be a great alternative to getting more stuff that he won’t play with the following week.
Charity parties aren’t a bad idea because it also teaches kids they aren’t entitled to received presents on their birthday but should be proud they are alive to celebrate another year with their family and friends. Having a party centered around a charity helps cement that idea I think.
We started charity birthdays last year in my family. For my daughter’s 9th birthday, we asked family and friend to join us in a walk to raise money for children with cancer. Instead of gifts they collected pledges. We just celebrated her 10th birthday and tripled what we raised in the first year ($4,100).
My younger daughter celebrated her birthday by asking for donations to Toy Mountain, a charity that collects toys at Christmas for underprivelaged children.
One of my friends also passed along this link…another great charity idea…http://www.echoage.com/
All in all the experience has been very positive and though I initiated the idea, it’s really rewarding to see your children take that idea and get excited about what chartity they will sponsor for their next party! They have not felt like they are missing out because of it all and I am certainly not forcing them to have these parties. They are, in fact, very proud of their accomplishments and rewarded by the praise from all those who surround them.
[...] of my posts, A Charity Birthday?, received some notice by a company that helps parents create online charity parties for their kids. [...]