Those of you who know me and have followed me from the beginning (all 2 of you, not including my mother), know that for me, being able to write and express myself is not something to be flip about or take lightly.
Believe me, I get enough criticism from people under my own roof (Brian, are you reading?) and people whom I think are friends or loved ones.
So I guess I do take offense when someone tells me on Twitter to “Get Real. You’re writing a blog” when I Retweeted this tweet from mommyniri:
I’m not going to call out the source of the “Get Real” statement, anyone with access to Twitter can go and find out for themselves… But I AM going to give the comment attention in my own special way.
First of all; Yes. Yes I am writing a blog. Thank you for noticing.
But it is WAAAAY more than that.
I’m writing about things that matter to me, about things that I have an opinion on or things that I struggle with, or things that have happened to me or those I love. A search through my archives will tell you that I’ve been doing this long enough to share some pretty intimate, pretty scary stuff with the vastness of the blogosphere.
My blogs, what I write and where I write is VERY REAL to me.
Personally, I don’t think I could have made it through Brian’s car accident, (I still don’t sleep well at night when he’s at work). I would’ve been lost when my niece Zoe was hospitalized and waited for a new heart… or opened up about having post partum depression when Shorty was born… or becoming a work at home mom, breastfeeding, surgeries on my heart… or the death of my uncle last year… What I’ve written, whether it was here, at Chaos in the Country, for Lifetime Moms, or a guest post has always been pieces of me that I’ve pulled out of myself to share and vent or cry about for one reason or another.
It’s not just a blog to the moms who have struggled to have children or overcome addiction. It’s not “just a blog” to parents who have lost a child or adults who are living with a disease or or disorder, or parents whose child is fighting for their life. It is very REAL and very important to those who are brave enough to share their stories, their lives, and their fears with the relative unknown of strangers.
We put ourselves out there, some not so naked and bare for the world to see and that’s okay, but there are others who have rocked us to the floor with the words that they’ve written. They have poured out their hearts, exposed themselves willingly and made themselves vulnerable for viciousness and hatred from people who know nothing of them.
That’s BRAVE. That’s REAL.
You can’t tell me that those people who share so openly aren’t sacrificing anything or taking time to make the words come out, no matter how painful or emotional or honest they may be aren’t being real.
The part of me that takes offense to the statement that I should just “get real” is the part that wants to scream, “Whoah! You know nothing about me. You’ve never met me, we’ve not been introduced, talked on the phone, or shared anything more than Tweet space.”
When you’ve done those things, then you MIGHT have the right to tell me to “Get Real” but I sincerely doubt it.
So don’t tell me to “Get Real. You’re just writing a blog” because I know more than you ever possibly can, that writing a blog IS real.
I’m truly sorry you can’t identify with that kind of realism.
Here. Freaking Here. Without my blog right now, I would be in a mental hospital somewhere.
.-= Kristine´s last blog ..Cora’s story =-.
You know I feel the pain of your loss, not just because I’m a mom with a CHD but because it hurts me that people are so flip to discount what we’re doing and why. This post was written for you and so many others who have gone through a personal struggle. I only wish we never had struggles to blog and could only discuss the good things.
This is oh so true, man without my blog I would go crazy. Although to some it’s just a blog to those who blog know what it takes to write our blogs, to keep up with everything that is involved with blogging. Hugs to you sweetie, you are not alone!
.-= Brandy @ Happily Blended´s last blog ..Our Visit With Santa =-.
Thank you for your post, beautifully done. You aren’t ‘just writing a blog,’ blogging is the ultimate voice crying in the wilderness… it is an act of hope, hope that we will be heard and understood; and courage, that when we open ourselves up, we will not be cut to ribbons for doing so.
I applaud you and all others who step out on the ledge and dare to cry out.
Thank you so much Kim! That means so much to me! Being able to cry out was one of my main reasons for starting my blogs.
I’m adding you to my RSS reader…great post! I saw Mommy Niri’s tweet today and responded with, You tell them!
Being a product reviewer, I work my ars off while raising my family in hopes that something will come out of all of my efforts.
Thanks for writing this! You rock!
.-= Courtney Velasquez (@theappleofmyeye)´s last blog ..Holiday Tradition: the Pickle Ornament =-.
That idiot really said “Get real, you’re writing a blog?” For someone who lived through having a congenital heart defect, it seems the doctors didn’t fix his defect of not even having a heart to start with. I find it funny, since he, too, has a blog himself.
What about the countless women who started their blogs to pay tribute to their family members or children they lost? Or to speak about their real life experiences, like his, of living through an illness or disease?
I bet those who make a living from their blog would beg to differ. Those who created blogs to help them, and others, save money would most assuredly beg to differ. Those who love to write, and those who’ve gotten jobs writing from their blogs, those with book deals, those with speaking gigs, with sponsorships from companies and brands asking them to be spokespersons would beg to differ, too. I bet those with writing gigs, or regular columns in papers, those with online stores and mouths to feed at home would also beg to differ.
It doesn’t matter what the blogger is writing about, because everyone started somewhere and everyone doesn’t necessarily want to make something of themselves with it. It’s about having a voice, having a place to turn to, to share, to connect.
I think Mr. Heart Defect could learn a thing or two about getting real from us who are merely writing a blog.
.-= Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting´s last blog ..Make Your Own Crayon Nibbles =-.
Lisa you said it so well I think you should have written this post! I’m a firm believer in letting a person’s blog be whatever they want or need it to be. I don’t think he fully understood what he was tweeting in response to (and I still don’t)… because whether a person is blogging for the life of a loved one, their own life or to save me some money at the grocery store, the point is still the same; it’s real to them and being so callous as to make a remark such as that tells me he doesn’t understand the community he’s involved in.
I thought the same thing as @Lisa, when I saw the commentor’s blog topic, I was surprised at the reaction.
I try very hard in my life not to judge what people are doing, there are so many “justs” in the world (just a mom, just a janitor, just a cook, just a writer, just a teacher). You never know how your words are going to change people.
I applaud anyone who can put themselves out there with their words, and I don’t know many who think writing their blog is the most important thing they do each day.
Great post, Nikki!
Sherry
You are exactly right Sherry! My blog might not seem important to everyone but it’s important to me and I don’t think any person should be judged because of what is important to them.
I’m the person who tweeted that message, and I take full responsibility for it.
Your original retweet was what you have listed above: “People have no idea how long it takes to write a post and what we sacrifice to write it.” There’s nothing in there about blogging about the pain caused by the death of a child, and I had no idea that was the original thought.
I apologized to you in a later tweet – well, as much as an apology as you can convey in 140 characters – and I’d like to say it again right here on your blog. I had no idea you and the other person were discussing such a painful thing. I humbly apologize.
Steve
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Another Reason to have a Medication Chart =-.
Hi Steve, thanks for taking the time to come over and read. My original tweet while that is what I said, was Retweeted from someone else. I don’t believe that the loss of a child was what she was talking about (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t but… ) the point being is that no matter what a blogger is talking about or what they are putting into their blog does take time and sacrifice in many ways.
And for whatever reason a person blogs, it is real to them and shouldn’t be discounted and it shouldn’t matter their reasons for blogging.
True for some the sacrifice is getting personal and opening up about tough topics – the loss of a child is ONE example and one I’ve seen far too much this year on the blogosphere. For others, it’s the time that goes into writing a review or posting a contest or even in your case on your blog… informing people about an important cause, that takes time to write and ultimately you DO sacrifice your time for it. If you have a family the time you take to write a post is taken away from them. If you blog for another company, again, that’s time and sacrifice.
I used the examples of opening up oneself because it’s something I’m most familiar with but it is definitely not the only kind of blogging there is.
But yes, there are many, many bloggers who blog the pain and personal pains they have gone through. Thank you for coming so boldly and apologizing. I do hope you’ll come back and read more again.