I Bared My Boobs for Anissa

Written on January 2, 2010 by Nikki in Parenting

I wonder how much spam that title will get?

Either way I did it. It wasn’t easy and I hope Christina isn’t too disappointed with the results (that sounds weird if you say it out loud).

You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about… I’ll try to make a long story short but if you know me, you should probably know that you’ll need to pull up a chair and a snack. You’ll be here awhile.

Right before Thanksgiving, fellow blogger and all around amazing mom and woman, Anissa Mayhew (whom I only met briefly at BlogHer) suffered a stroke and has been fighting to come back from it. Anissa has always been proud of her boobs and her cleavage and I’ve admired her boldness about showing them off and her boldness and fearlessness in everything else she’s done.

Since her stroke, I have been reading Hope 4 Peyton religiously as her husband updates everyone on her condition, shares the frustrations, and makes us all cry big, fat, sniffly, tears when something amazing happens. Her situation baffles and scares me to death. Because it’s one of those things that you think will ever happen but when it does, it makes you stand up and take notice of those around you and of your own life.

Christina from Cutest Kid Ever came up with the idea to raise money for Anissa and her family by doing a fundraiser. I responded that I’d be up for participating even though I knew very little of what it would entail and thus the #boobsforanissa calendar was created.

I gave it a thought, then I gave it a second thought. I love my boobs, I’ve always been shy about them because of my “battle scars” though. Open heart surgery from when I was a baby, a collar bone that was never reset from that surgery, and the scar from my pacemaker leaves me lacking in the self-confidence department when it comes to my cleavage and showing it off. When I was younger, I used to fear the day that a guy would want to check out “the girls”. It’s not that I wasn’t proud of them, it’s just that I could never get over the idea of anyone other than me seeing the scars. Needless to say, I didn’t let many guys get far enough to see the girls.

Brian’s been around long enough that I’m fairly sure that he doesn’t even notice the scars, let alone the cleavage when I show it off. But it took me quite awhile to get over whether or not he was checking me out or checking me out.

So when I realized what I’d actually gotten myself into when I signed up for the calendar, I had to do a gut check (and a boob check).

I went to the bathroom, took off my top and proceeded to check out my cleavage. Openly, and honestly.

My cleavage isn’t that bad. Squish the girls together and you don’t even see the scar down the middle. Adjust them in the bra (and make them pretty and perky) and they look *almost* like everyone else’s (I think. I’ve not exactly studied cleavage before so it’s a guess).
Still. People were going to see my cleavage.
On purpose.
I stood in the mirror for a long time, mentally asking myself if I’d lost my mind. (I hadn’t even told Brian yet what I was up to).  I asked myself if I was brave enough to bare all (or all enough) to the general public.
Then I thought about Anissa.
This wasn’t about me or my hang ups about my cleavage. This was about doing something good for someone else. I’m not in the position to make donations or even participate monetarily in some of the other fundraisers for Anissa’s family that I’ve seen online recently, but I’ve wanted to help in some way.
I could do this. Let all my hang ups go and just do it.
So a friend came over and we took some cleavage shots. I’m not quite comfortable with my face in them so we opted to aim for the cleavage and have fun with it.  I figure that if guys buy the calendars, they aren’t really going to look at my face anyway, right?
My sister has since pointed out and reminded me that I have nothing to be ashamed of. When Zoe received her new heart, she wasn’t afraid or self conscious about her scar; she was proud because her Aunt Nik has one to match it and how can I be insecure or argue with that?
If you’ve not bought your 2010 calendar (or maybe you have but you need more, or someone else you know needs one), you NEED to have the Boobs for Anissa 2010 calendar.
boobsforanissa


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