My Views and Review of Teenage Pregnancy and The Pregnancy Pact
24 Jan
Along those lines if I’ve ever led you to believe that I’m giving my daughter my blessing to have sex when she becomes a teenager, think again. I know I’ve talked A LOT about it, both on this site and at Lifetime Moms but that’s because I passionately believe that without education and the ability to communicate with our teenagers about sex, we’re pulling the covers over our head and pretending that it doesn’t exist.
We’d be fooling ourselves if we believed that teenagers aren’t talking about sex or experimenting with it. In June 2008, a small Massachusetts town found out just how out of touch with their teens they REALLY were when the town came under fire from a string of teenage pregnancies and rumors and the news reports that a number of those pregnancies resulted in a “pact” formed by a group of friends to all be pregnant together.
Lifetime created an original movie based on the actual news events from June 2008 and tackles this sensitive topic in The Pregnancy Pact.
The numbers of teenage pregnancies continue to rise. Photo by Lifetime Television
I eagerly jumped on the chance to preview the movie before it aired last night and I can’t say it enough, THIS IS A MOVIE TO WATCH WITH YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTERS.
I’d like to tell you that none of our daughters will ever have to experience being a mom before she’s ready and I know that I’ve said that there’s no wrong age for being a mom… and I’d even like to tell you that it’s not going to happen to my daughter but the fact is.. I DON’T KNOW THAT.
What I do know is that according to statistics, three out of 10 teenage girls in the US will become pregnant. These might sound like trumped up figures or scare tactics but it’s the truth. I can name FIVE girls that I went to school with right now who was either pregnant at the time we graduated from high school or had already given birth. FIVE. GIRLS. That was HALF of my close circle of friends. I was pregnant at 20 so you can include me too.
Scary damn numbers aren’t they?
So if I do that math today, and think of 10 girls now, my daughter included and the numbers DON’T GO UP, then my daughter, one of her friends, or even both could be a mom before she’s 20. I don’t want that and if you can think of at least 10 girls right now that you know (including your own if you have any) then I’m sure you don’t want that either.
The Pregnancy Pact takes a look at not just how it affects the girl to be pregnant but her family as well. It looks into a very controversial topic and shows both sides to the story from a conservative standpoint to an education standpoint.
I’m not dismissing family values so don’t suggest I’m giving my daughter license to have sex… truth be known, I’d be hard pressed not to lock her up until she’s 25 (or older) and earned her college degree but I’m a realist and I know that if I was having sex before I was married (and yes. I was. Sorry mom. Bug was not an immaculate conception) then I have to face the fact that my kids might do the same. Will I talk to them about the importance of waiting? HELL YES. I will talk about it till the sun goes down… but I won’t let abstinence be the only conversation I have. I think that’s a mistake that some parents make – not on purpose but because they believe that their teens are really being true to their parents’ words. That’s just not the case ALL THE TIME. (Helloooo… Bristol Palin??)
We Have to Go Beyond a One Point of View Conversation.
Look at it this way, you’re explaining a math problem to your teenager. You know that there are multiple ways to reach the answer, do you explain only one way to reach that answer or do you EXPLAIN THEM ALL?
At one point during my previewing of The Pregnancy Pact, I had tears in my eyes… knowing that this was based on a true story and how those girls’ lives were changed forever, knowing that they’ve forever changed the lives of the boys involved, and their parents. The Pregnancy Pact wasn’t created to solve whether or not there was an actual pact for these girls to get pregnant. The goal of the movie is to shed light on a hot topic, to get parents talking to their teenagers about sex and it’s consequences.
Teenage sex and teen pregnancy isn’t going to go away (at least not in my lifetime I don’t think) but we can do more than we’re doing now to prevent it. Lifetime saw the importance in doing more and has partnered with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Lifetime will help spread the word by offering free resources for parents and teens at their mylifetime.com page while educators and non-profit groups can receive the movie for free through mylifetime.com starting today.
If you missed watching The Pregnancy Pact when it first premiered last night, you can watch it again at 9 pm EST and again at 11 pm EST tonight (January 24th, 2010) on Lifetime television. Even if you can’t be home to watch it then DVR it, Tivo, or set the VCR (people still have those you know!) and watch it later with your teens. Talk about the movie afterward, get their view on the situation these girls were in and LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN for them to ask you questions.
This is a rare teachable moment. Take advantage of it and don’t rush through it. Yes, your teenager will think you’re a dork but they’ll also never be able to say that their mom or dad didn’t teach them or talk to them about sex or preventing an unplanned pregnancy.
*Note: Aside from the fact that Lifetime provided me with the movie to preview prior to it’s air date, I received no other compensation for this post, nor did I receive any additional compensation for my review of the movie at LifetimeMoms.com. Further, I’m proud to be partnering with a company that is involved in social issues and especially those that concern and matter to parents. I’ve written on the topic of teens and sex extensively prior to this post. It is a topic that is close to my heart and one that I will continue to speak out about as long as this blog lives.
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I love this post and cannot believe I missed the Movie! I’ve got to go set my TiVo right now for another playing of it! Thanks for the insight and reminder!
I did watch the movie. Made my poor hubby sit through it as well. (He hates Lifetime).
I have 2 girls (9 and 5) and I pray to GOD that they are smart enough to at least prevent teenage pregnancy. I will forcefully take them to the Dr. for the Depo shot if I have to (just kidding, but it’s tempting.) I know first hand how hard it is to raise kiddos, especially when you’re just a kid yourself. I was 17 when my oldest was born.
I know my girls are just as stubborn as I am, so as harsh as this may seem, it wouldn’t come as a surprise to me if they came to me one day and told me they were pregnant. Girls are having babies at such a young age now. A 17 year old mom was considered young when I was pregnant, but now it seems like more 12 and 13 year old girls are becoming mothers.
It scares me yes, but I doubt there will be anything I can do to keep them from doing such things, short of locking them in their rooms till graduation. I will talk to them. We have a pretty open family connection, so many subjects that are taboo for most families are dinner table conversations for us.
My sister in law is only 16 and just had her second baby boy about a month ago. She dropped out of school before she got to her freshman year. I feel sorry for her because she will have to work twice as hard to make it in this world with no education and 2 hungry mouths to feed.
I wish that girls would take the advice of people like me. I’m not saying don’t have sex. That would make me a hypocrite. I am saying BE CAREFUL, and learn from my mistakes. No need to follow in my footsteps if you don’t have to.
I was a teen mom. I know how it all goes and feels and such. Education is key. I get a lot of flack because that’s my answer to what I teach my kids, but I think it’s important. Will have to see if I can find this movie. My heart stopped a little because I’ve been writing a YA novel with the same name. Dang it!