As I pushed my son’s stroller around the mall we were greeted by an elderly woman who began oohing and aahing over him. I thought to myself, “how sweet”.
And then she opened her mouth. “Oh he’s so cute. Is he yours?”
Umm…excuse me? No, I just picked him up at the baby store down the road and thought he went well with my coat! (Okay, I didn’t say that but I really wanted to)
Then she tried to backtrack. “Well, it’s just that he doesn’t look anything like you!”
And there it was -the thought that had crossed through my own mind, which I had been denying to myself, since the birth of my son.
My son just didn’t look like me!
Or rather, didn’t have my Latino features. And I was disappointed about that. Go ahead, get angry at me for saying it but I’m just being honest. Yes, it’s my own insecurities and I hate myself for that but its how I feel.
I love my son with all my heart. But I have to say that when he was born I was sort of hoping that he looked more like, well…me. My son is beautiful and perfect but every so often I send out a very pathetic little wish to the universe hoping that his gorgeous blue/green/hazel eyes turn brown, and that his light skin turns olive, like mine.
By Flavio Takemoto
Okay, I’m awful, I know. I should just be happy. But do you know how difficult it is to hear people say “oh, he must take after your husband” or “he’s your son?” It’s a little crushing to my mommy ego.
And strangers can be really rude. I’ve even had one person imply that they thought I was his nanny! Luckily some of my friends and family have taken pity on me and my “issue” and tell me that my son is starting to look a little like me. I just giggle because I know they are just trying to make me feel better but I love them for trying.
I’m sure there are plenty of children that don’t necessarily look like their parents and they are okay with that. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll survive. But it would be nice to one day look up and see that there may just be a little hint of mommy peeking through. I hope you’re listening, universe!
Have you thought the same or maybe even wished that your precious child didn’t share your looks? Is there a little bit of mommy guilt that just creeps up whenever you think about it? Please share your stories and comments with us. We would love to hear them all!
Jennifer Hutcheson who is a Latina mamí of an adorable 14-month-old little peanut, Shaun (a.k.a Shaunsito). A native of New York she currently resides with her son and husband, also named Shaun, in the great state of Georgia. She writes at her public blog Mami 2 Mommy (http://www.mami2mommy.com) where she shares her experiences as a first time mamí.
She also serves as Executive Director of BabySpot Atlanta (http://www.babyspotatlanta.com), Director of the Atlanta Chapter of Latinos in Social Media (http://www.latism.org) and as a Community Manager for BeingLatino(http://www.facebook.com/Being.Latino) and ProductCamp Atlanta (http://www.pcampatl.com). All while working her “side-hustle” as a Public Relations and Social Media Strategist and Freelance Writer.
My son never looked like me. But people say he has my smile and that is all I need. So next time someone says that, just smile back.
And the reference to the nanny, well..I don’t know if I would smile.:)
.-= Blanca Stella´s last blog ..El Para Que =-.
Great advice Blanca! I will smile until it hurts my face!
.-= Mami2Mommy´s last blog ..Multi-Tasking – Mom vs. Dad =-.
True, there can be features besides for color of eyes or skin that are like us. Sometimes we don’t see them till the child is older. Maybe he’ll have mommy’s smile, personality, or even share some of your hobbies or loves.
And yes, I think we all have silent little wishes we feel guilty for even wishing. You’re not alone!
.-= Erica Mueller´s last blog ..Blissful Alarm {NOT} =-.
Thank you Erica for making me feel a little less guilty.
Here’s to hoping he has my smile and NOT my personality or daddy and I will be in big trouble! lol
.-= Mami2Mommy´s last blog ..Multi-Tasking – Mom vs. Dad =-.
Heredity is such a funny thing! My daughter is adopted and people often will marvel that she DOES look like me. I don’t see it myself. I’m very glad she won’t inherit my big knees and thighs, once-in-awhile grumpy personality (who me?).
I think that is so wonderful! My hubby and I have talked about adoption and are strongly considering it. Guess I’ll have to suck it up then.
Thanks so much for sharing and I think we all tend to have a grumpy personality at times. You’re entitled!
.-= Mami2Mommy´s last blog ..The Ringling Brothers Presents Zing Zang Zoom! =-.