You see, I’m terrible at being romantic. Don’t get me wrong, I love the romantic comedies and the tear-jerking dramas where the guy both gets and loses the girl. I am a sentimental sap.
But that’s where it ends.
Otherwise, I am pretty practical. Take for instance, the one year outside of my husband proposing to me that he bought me jewelry; I looked straight at him and said, ”What did you do wrong?”
“Aww honey, this is beautiful! I love it.” Nope. Not this gal.
Maybe it’s because I’m TOO practical or cynical, or heck, I just don’t wear a lot of jewelry so I don’t ask for it… but whatever the reason, I could not just take the romantic gesture of the jewelry and be happy with it.
Case in point, I usually buy two Valentine’s Day cards every year; one from the humor section that is very inappropriate and politically incorrect and one that pours out the most sentimental feelings paper and ink have ever seen.
Except this year.
You see, I can’t find a card that says, “Damn sweetheart last year was really rough and the car accident made me realize just how much I love and need you in my life”. Hallmark and American Greetings do not make those.
I looked.
So this year, I decided to do what the greeting card companies can’t do; I wrote it all down. Myself.
In. My. Own. Words.
You see, if there was one thing that (I-swear-to-all-that-is-holy-he-is-going-to-kill-me-for-telling-you-this) my husband CAN DO, is write a good love letter.
There. I said it. I’m a sham of a writer compared to him.
We started out as a long distance relationship. Letters back and forth, some that made me blush (get yer minds out of the gutter) and some that made me laugh till my sides hurt and cry all at the same time. I practiced my typing and computer skills on him; carefully typing my letters on crude word processing software, while he praised me for my skills from a pen and a composition notebook.
There’s something to be said for a love letter. It’s something that you can hold long after the person or the relationship has left you. It can breathe life back into a stale relationship or conjure up an old flame faster than you can light a match. It holds special powers and transports you back to another time and place; before children, before mortgages, before growing older.
He wants to know how you feel about him; not Hallmark. Photo by: Kriss Szkurlatowski
I’ve saved Brian’s letters. I don’t know if he knows this or not. It’s been a constant reminder of the young man I fell in love with when our tempers flare or we don’t see eye to eye. I don’t read them but it’s a comfort to still have them.
Having kept the love letters all this time and the drama from this last year reminded me how much more special this year is. We don’t get an anniversary (we got married on Leap Year for those who don’t know) this year and we won’t get one next year either. Even though we usually do something to somehow commemorate the Un-Anniversary, we usually keep it very low key.
So taking out my pen and putting it to paper, I thought of Brian and what it was about him, that I loved. That has kept me here all this time (because I’m certain I have adult ADD, I have the attention span of a Pea, the sheer fact that I haven’t wandered off or gotten distracted by something shiny in 14 years is a HUGE accomplishment).
I’m not going to tell you what’s in the letter, Okay… maybe ONE THING, but that’s only because I want you to tell me…
If you wrote a love letter to your husband, spouse, partner, soul mate today; what’s one thing that you would say?
My one thing?
After all of these years, my heart still skips a beat when I am an utter mess, irrational, whining and complaining or arguing with you and without saying a word, you wrap your arms around me and simply, hold. me.
