I realize that publicly stating that I don’t like the Amish, or to be more specific, MY Amish NEIGHBORS, is not nice. It’s judgmental (as at least one person pointed out to me on Twitter, but I am not making a judgment. I am making a statement. Either way…) and it’s unfair since they can’t exactly go online and defend themselves.
Here’s the thing, I’ve dealt with them for seven years (as of this summer) and every year it seems, it’s something new. I know that people who aren’t familiar with the Amish (ie don’t have them as neighbors, and if you do have Amish neighbors and they are wonderful then I envy you) believe me to be mean in saying what I said but… Sigh… I really. Don’t. Care. And here’s why…
When we first moved our house had sat empty for probably a good year or two. It was foreclosed on and it had some damage from a (suspected) Tornado that tore off part of the roof. Therefore, no one… and I mean NO ONE was making any offers. But it was cute. It has 4 acres, (partially fenced), an out building and so much potential that Brian and I felt like this was a good place to raise Bug, Bebe and Shorty (Peanut wasn’t even a thought yet).
Having Amish neighbors didn’t seem like a big deal to us but even our Realtor who is from the area and has dealt with the Amish in the past, warned not to “give them an inch or they would take a mile” (we later discovered this is a common phrase among the English when talking about the Amish in our community) but being as we were silly city people, we just sort of scoffed (OK I did, Brian did not).
Within that first year we discovered that our neighbors who own the farm and the fields adjacent to our house have been dumping milk cans, steel barrels, wheel rims (not like Goodyear, but the wheel rims from their buggies), and a host of other things in the wooded treeline on our property. Basically Amish garbage. We have cleaned some of it out but we discover more every year.
We have also had run ins with them encroaching on our property. A group of BOYS (which after 14 years old is like a man to the Amish, but not to me) were hunting rabbits in our treeline. It runs the entire length of our property on the right side. They weren’t just in the wooded area though. They were hunting in what we call “the path”. It’s basically the part of the yard that runs along the treeline, it’s kept neat and mowed and the kids often play up the path, they go in and out of the treeline, play hide and seek, etc. I stopped the boys one day after Bug came running into the house yelling that Amish boys were walking down the path with guns. I asked them to not hunt on the property anymore. They said OK and left. Months later they came back and Brian asked them to, once again, not hunt on our property. A year later they came back and Brian paid a visit to the father (or grandfather… I’m still not sure) and “had words” as he put it. The boys stopped coming; until this year when they stopped to ask if they could hunt. I told them no because we now have cows in the fenced in pasture next to the path and treeline.I do not feel comfortable with young boys roaming our property unsupervised with guns. Not a good feeling.
They haven’t been back to hunt since.
This year has probably been the most interesting. The house on the other side of us is empty. It’s a shame because it’s a big beautiful farm house with five bedrooms (what I need!) and it’s falling apart. Literally. The porch is sagging, broken, there is black mold inside and Lord only knows what kinds of critters living in it now. The owners don’t care. They won’t rent it out again (last renters were not so great, neither were the ones before that), they won’t fix it up, and they won’t sell it. They don’t even mow except once or twice a year. Instead though, they made a deal with another Amish family, (I’ll call them neighbors #2) and have allowed them to farm the field behind the house.
Fine.
Well, except those little Amish boys (neighbors #2) started hunting around the empty house (and I do mean AROUND… like right up against it) to kill the rabbits that are getting into their crops. Does anyone see anything wrong with this? The first time that a stray bullet ricochets… I don’t even want to think about the foolishness or dangers of it. So I did what any mom would do, I reminded the boys that they have permission to farm not hunt. Big difference. BIG. Of course the dad came down to our house to see what the issue was because I told the boys that if their dad wanted to talk to me he could. Problem solved right? Sort of.
Same boys. New problem. Another neighbor who lives on the other side of the empty house stopped over and asked if I knew how to reach the owners. These neighbors saw the boys trying to break into the locked pole barn next to the house. One boy had a crowbar and the other was trying to work his way in the door that his brother was trying to pry open with the crowbar. When the boys were asked, by me and the nice lady who came to my house, they said they weren’t trying to break in, they just wanted to see what was inside. Well, dear children, if it’s locked, how do you suppose you get in to see what’s inside. YOU BREAK IN. It’s a little thing us English like to call… illegal.
I was finally able to reach the owners of the house and they came out to deal with them (I think). I also spoke to the father of these boys and so has my husband about these two incidents and issues with their dog getting into our pasture while they are next door farming the field. We’ve been told by the dad that we’re welcome to beat the children if they get out of hand, or shoot the dog if it comes in our yard again. (Because apparently the dog isn’t really that good of a dog anyway).
Sigh.
Back to neighbors #1, the ones whose fields are adjacent to our treeline. Currently I’m dealing with the Amish neighbors #1 wanting to pick the cherries, black raspberries (and probably the blackberries) that are growing in the treeline (and probably the mulberries too). I can’t prove that they’ve been doing it for years but from the conversation that I had with the Elder Amish (father/grandfather… still not sure) they’ve been picking those trees since we moved in and before and this just happens to be the first time I’ve caught them (literally) up our trees. I know where our property lines are and I know that they are in them. He wasn’t rude per se but I was basically told that if I was so sure about the property lines then they must be farming on our land too. No. They aren’t. There’s a distinct difference in our treeline and their corn and wheat fields.
These are two different Amish families. The first and last families that I talk about are the same. They are the ones who live adjacent to us, the ones farming the empty land next door to us actually live around the corner and across the road. Go figure. I am assuming they are two different families but for all I know, they are probably all related. Somehow. Either way, I am not finding them to be the honest, keep to themselves simple people that everyone makes them out to be.
Now that you have the back story, here’s the rant…
I could easily steal the corn that neighbors #1 grow without them ever knowing. I could. It’s a huge field and it grows right up against the treeline. But I don’t. Instead I walk up the road to their house and BUY THE CORN when I want some. Those berries that are in our treeline that they’ve been picking? They sell them at their produce stand (the same place where I buy the corn). I don’t encroach on their property. I buy what I want from them. I’ve taken them our empty egg cartons for the eggs they sell, I’ve BOUGHT eggs from them, I’ve taken them fabric that I can’t use for the quilts they make and ask for nothing in return. My neighborly attitude and behavior is about to come to a grinding halt.
I won’t say that I won’t deal with the Amish, because our two newest cows were bought from neighbors #2 and we also paid them to cut the hay in our pasture for the cows (because we don’t have the equipment) and Bebe and I took a walk to ANOTHER Amish house that also makes and sells furniture, storage sheds, playhouses and such to see about having a Rabbit hut built for her so I’d be lying if I said I won’t deal with them at all. Because I do and I will.
However…
I would post a No Trespassing sign but I don't think my Amish neighbors would obey it.
I’m tired of repeating myself to them and finding new trash to clean out of our treeline year after year. I’m tired of my kids feeling like they can’t play in the trees or sit up there (Shorty loves to climb and is quite good at it), or pick the berries that belong to us.
I know that I’m not the only person in our little town who feels this way. I’ve talked to other people who have Amish neighbors and they too complain of similar problems. One former neighbor told me that the house she moved to has a dozen trees full of apple, pear, peach and cherry trees. The Amish asked to pick some of the trees and she knew that she could not use all of what was there so she said okay. She went to work the next day, came home to find her trees stripped of all the fruit. If that doesn’t bother you, maybe hearing that our local Dollar Store has had problems with the small children (toddlers and preschool age), barefoot and peeing in the store. They do it in the grocery store too. (Which is reason number ONE why I don’t shop in town).
“Give them an inch and they will take a mile.”
Having said all of this, I do have a deep respect for the Amish culture and the way that they live. I know I could not do it.
I love me some technology and electricity.
I know I couldn’t conform to their way of life and I think in many ways we can learn a lot from their sense of community and family (except the part about excommunicating any family that chooses not to become Amish, that doesn’t fly with me). On the other hand, I’ve watched the children (and the adults) lie to me and talk down to us like we are fools.
I don’t tolerate disrespect.
I don’t think that saying that I don’t like my neighbors is going to cause the next Apocalypse (or genocide, or war) and I try desperately not to censor myself just because it’s not the popular opinion. Instead I think that telling you I don’t like my neighbors and giving you a peek at life next to them is better than just throwing a statement out there without cause or reason. I don’t ever dislike a person or thing, or product for no reason. I always have one and I’m always willing to tell you if you ask. I was asked so here it is.
So hate me if you want to because I don’t like my neighbors. I’d feel the same way regardless of their race, religion or culture. It matters little what culture they are. To suggest I dislike because of their culture, is inaccurate and nuts. Yes. I said NUTS.
New reader here! Great post. While I do live in the suburbs of Philadelphia and can’t relate to a more rural living situation, I would think there are still laws to uphold regarding illegal hunting, tresspassing and theft. Can your local police or town government get involved? Amish or English, they still have to follow the US laws since they live here. I’d be really angry to catch anyone hunting around my home, especially with guns. And to sell your fruit and not give you payment (in money or goods) is wrong and obnoxious. I’m sorry you have to deal with annoying neighbors!
Your property sounds amazing. I would love to have fruit bearing trees like yours. At the moment I’m hoping the bunny that lives in our yard will leave my tiny veggie garden alone!
.-= Diane ´s last blog ..I can read, can you? =-.
Thanks Diane! Glad you found me
I did call the police on the children hunting and trying to break into the pole barn at the empty house but I was told to see if I can reach the neighbors first and with the hunting that if I can’t reach the neighbors then I need to call the game warden. It’s very sad because as for being on our property, it’s hard to prove unless you repeatedly catch them and even then they always say “I didn’t know” because they’ve said it to us before. What’s even more sad is that the general feeling from the sheriff was that they want to deal with the Amish community here as little as possible.
Yeah, wowzers. Sounds like the way my parents raised my brothers and I.
Sorry you are dealing with such disregard for your boundaries. I’m glad you have an outlet to vent (that they won’t ever read about! hahaha!!!) anyway, good luck.
That’s the way I’m trying to raise my kids and with 4 of them it can be hard for them to respect boundaries since they share so much but I want them to learn that we don’t take what isn’t ours, we respect other people’s property and we treat our neighbors with respect, no matter who they are. It’s surprising and saddening especially when it comes from a community that has been known for it’s simple and neighborly ways.
I’m sorry that another blogger has taken you to task about your opinion.
You are certainly entitled to it. And in this case, I very heartily agree with you (and we know I haven’t always done that in the past, lol).
Since I doubt that other blogger will let me comment go through, I will furnish it here:
“It seems to me that you have made a rather sweeping judgment of Nichole based on one post on her personal blog. I’ve been following her writings for years, and I read that post the exact way she meant it – as an outburst and rant about her YEARS of frustrations.
As an American, she and you are granted freedom of speech. As long as that freedom does not impose on other’s freedoms, cause libel or create unlawful civic unrest, you can say, think and WRITE anything. She did not DO anything to them, just stated her frustrations in an open forum for people who wanted to read them. You CHOSE to read it, you could have closed the browser.
She’s an amazing writer that has gone through a lot in her life and has triumphed over it all to raise four wonderful kids. I think making a blanket statement calling her a warmonger is simply over the top. It is obviously just journalistic sensationalism aimed towards a higher pageview count.
But, after all, you are entitled to your opinion.”
I know you believe in tolerance enough to allow my OPINION through.
Sorry your neighbors suck. Thanks for being a great writer!
Thank you Char! Who knows if she will publish your comment or not. I’m just sorry that someone took my twitter comment as a serious bigoted (her words) slam against a whole community.
You know me well enough (I hope) to know I don’t dislike something without good reason and in this case, it’s my neighbors. If you lived next door to me and did this, I wouldn’t like you either. It’s pretty simple or so I thought.
When we moved out here, I learned all I could about the Amish (as a cultural group) because I was neighbors with them and wanted to know everything I could. I read books and researched them online so I don’t base my statement on little knowledge of them. I’ve lived next them for seven years. Bought things from them, invited them into my house and been invited into theirs so my frustrations are not without merit. Had she taken the time to talk me instead of slam me, she’d know that.
Of course your opinion is always allowed here. I very rarely delete or moderate to remove a comment unless you come here for the sole purpose of personally attacking me.
Seriously, that would drive me crazy!!! We have the neighbors (renters) from hell next door who always park their crappy cars in front of ours, on purpose. The Amish thing and living rural would completely suck. I would probably go crazy, or just get angry. Maybe you should stand on your porch with a shotgun? Hmmmmm…
On other note, Shannon (ForTheMommas) raves about her Amish housecleaners…{giggle}
.-= Julie {Angry Julie Monday}´s last blog ..Happy 3rd Anniversary Angry Julie Monday =-.
I can’t imagine having the neighbors clean my house. I don’t know that I could do that. I have some opinions on that that I may need to just skype to you!
As for the shotgun… I plead the 5th!
Nikki, having lived in areas with high Amish concentration, I can say the Amish community is NOT immune to the same behavior as the “English” communities are. Just because they’re Amish doesn’t mean there aren’t a few who are rude, who take liberties, who get into trouble, etc.
A friend’s mom, who speaks fluent German, was at a flea market. She stopped at the Amish booth and picked up a few things. As she was paying, one of the older Amish women said to another Amish woman, in German, “This English is fat and disgusting, isn’t she?”
My friend’s mother closed her purse and told her in perfect German where to put her items.
I would say in general it’s bad to stereotype, but in specific instances, you can’t deny the way some people behave. Treat the neighbors as you would ANY person trespassing or behaving in an unsafe manner. And to hell with what others think – they’re not the ones dealing with these rude people.
Oh, and they sure do use the Internet. I was at Burger King two weeks ago and an Amish kid (maybe 19 or 20) was on their bank of computers, talking into a borrowed cell phone about changes to their new website. It was a bit odd, but hey, they gotta make money, too.
Lori, I am always amazed by what I learn from you – I am very surprised about the website. Really. Wow. It makes sense though because they do have to earn a living, everyone does! When we first moved here I worked for a furniture stain company and 99.9 percent of their business came from the Amish woodworkers and craftsman. Our drivers delivered a five state radius of them and they would come back with “stories” to tell but the most surprising to me and why I started learning all I could was one driver in particular learned quite a bit of Pennsylvania Dutch from the job and told me a few times of the things that were said behind his back.
Thank you for your comment. I agree it’s bad to stereotype but like you said… the way some people behave makes it very difficult not to. I’ll continue to be nice to them though as we love our home and have created some roots for the kids here.
Having bad neighbors just plain sucks because there’s not a lot you can do about it. It’s like having bad in-laws. That said, if their culture doesn’t matter, why do you feel the need to emphasize that they’re Amish? Obviously some of the problems you’re dealing with are cultural, but that’s true in a lot of neighbor conflicts. People have different ideas about what is and is not appropriate behavior. That’s the thing that bugged me about your post… by continuing to emphasize that they are Amish suggests that you DO have a problem with Amish people in general (i.e. the implication that they hunt illegally on your land because they are Amish). If you do and you want to talk about it, then you should obviously expect some people to be upset by that. Otherwise, just refer to them as your annoying neighbors and leave their religion/ethnicity out of it. Anyway, I hope it gets better. It’s clear that these interactions are coloring your view of the entire population of Amish people and I think that’s unfortunate for everyone involved.
.-= Christy´s last blog ..Vectron Wave – A Gift for Dad? =-.
Thank you for your view but I still respectfully disagree with you and only because I’ve always said Amish. Our community is heavy with them and when we moved out here if I would talk about my neighbors people would actually ask if I meant the Amish neighbors so it became 2nd nature for me to just put Amish in front of neighbors. I don’t mean disrespect to their community or their culture and I stated that. I don’t think my neighbors are completely tainting my view of the Amish community but I do think that my neighbors are a poor representation of their community. Does it surprise me that a group of people known for being peaceful and neighborly would steal and act illegally? Yes but does it mean that I have cultural issues because of it? I don’t think so. I’ve had interactions with other cultural groups and learned things about me that shocked me but it doesn’t mean I’m a bigot or inciting hatred and it doesn’t now.
Having been raised nearly amish (ok, so we had cars and electricity) I can say that the general (and I mean general, as there are always exceptions) belief system is very self-righteous (as in, the good things we do make us good instead of nothing we can do makes us good, only God’s love in us can) which leads to a better-than-thou attitude. They (Amish, Mennonite, Holiness… anything Works based rather than Grace based) aren’t ALL this way, but for the majority, yes. Remember, I was raised this way, I know. There is nothing wrong with trying to be good, with living without electricity or cars, or wearing all dresses or never cutting your hair. Nothing at all. But, when you do it to feel better than someone else, or you act like doing so makes you better, you’re wrong, and you alienate people. Anytime someone believes their belief system is better than someone else’s, or the only way, there is room for this attitude to creep in.
I’ve known several people of all these belief systems and some of them have been very sweet people. I’ve also lived very close to this lifestyle and even closer belief wise, and I have seen the flip-side and heard the conversations about the ‘English’ outsiders and how un-holy or un-worthy they are. People with this attitude, no matter the race, culture, or faith have no problem encroaching on other people’s space because to them, the others simply don’t deserve the respect.
Nikki, I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this. I definitely would hold them to the law, no matter their faith/culture. It wouldn’t matter if they were atheist, Baptist, or Budist; you own the property and they’re trespassing.
.-= Erica Mueller´s last blog ..Working at Home…with Guests =-.
Sweetness, thank you so much for the comment. I’m glad you could put another personal face on things. We’ve been talking about this quietly today but I think everyone should know that your statement about them thinking others don’t deserve respect really hit home with me and that’s what it all boils down to. Is respecting your neighbors and sadly, they just don’t. Thanks for being a good friend.
Hi Nikki – fairly new to following your blog – but felt I had to comment since you’ve received bad press on this. I think a majority of the people who live by the Amish would agree with you – they aren’t always the best neighbors and do seem to feel some sort of entitlement. The amish around here have actually asked my coworker if they can sleep over when it’s very hot out because she has air conditioning and have asked to use her hot tub. Yikes.
Wow! My jaw just hit the floor. I’ve never heard of that but I’m so glad you commented! I’m literally sitting here shaking my head in total disbelief (and not even sure how to respond to that!) Anyway, thank you so much for your comment and for finding me and reading. I hope you’ll come back again!
You need to be more aggressive with these people. You are not their equals in their eyes, you are an outsider. These berry stealing, tresspassing neighbors need to be dealt with abruptly and rudely.
Next time you find THEIR garbage on your land you need to load it up into a truck and drop it off on their front porch. Let them know that it’s not acceptable for them steal your fruit, trespass on your land and dump their garbage. Get the EPA involved, whatever was in those 55 gallon drums was probably supposed to be disposed of in a certian manner. I cannot think of anything on a farm that comes in that big of a drum that isn’t toxic or hazardous.
Good luck. Their problem isn’t that they are amish, their problem is that you’re dealing with a bunch of a-holes.