Yeah. Because… never NEVER happens right?
Well, never just jumped up and bit me in the butt. Again.
I’ve always fancied myself not like other parents because I didn’t have some of the teen issues other have (yet). I felt pretty lucky. My kids were rarely online and if they were, it was for school purposes. I’m online more than they are. I’m pretty certain that even if the kids added up all of their Internet usage from now till eternity, they would never catch up to how much time I’m on the Internet.
Even with all of that certainty, there may be a change on the horizon. Bebe has asked me for an email address and Bug decided he wanted a Facebook account. At this point, I don’t know if I should be excited or scared. Bebe is 10 (soon to be 11 in three months), and Bug is 14. He’s at that age when I worry about what text messages could be on his phone and new trends in cyber bullying. We’ve had talks about bullying through the cell phone and how I won’t tolerate him being a part of anything like that. We’ve also discussed that if he ever receives any kind of bullying messages to bring it straight to me.
It’s important that I stay an active (read: nosey) participant in their lives. It’s been my belief that parents who are active and involved are less likely to have kids who participate in risky behavior. Is that a full proof plan? To be active? Probably not but it’s a STEP towards keeping kids on the straight and narrow.
Cybersafety has always in one way or another made its way into our conversations but I have to admit, since the kids’ Internet use has been limited, it’s not been on my TOP things to discuss. We’ve always talked about not sharing personal information with people online but since they aren’t anywhere without me RIGHT. THERE., I’ve not been a helicopter mom about it. I try to keep their names out of my posts and pictures are limited because I want to keep them safe but now that they all (with the exception of Peanut) are ready to spread their online wings, I know I need to up my game a bit about cybersafety and being safe online. They want to be able to play games online and as they get older, social networking will be on their minds as well.
As we tackle the world of online safety, there will be some stumbling blocks and learning curves I’m sure. We’re learning and talking about all of it as we go. When I helped Bug set up his Facebook profile, we went through the account and privacy settings together. I know his password and login information and if he wants to keep his Facebook account, he’s going to keep it that way.
There’s a lot of learning to be had here. I’m open to all of your suggestions in keeping them safe while still giving them the freedom to be online without becoming a helicopter mom!
Wow.. considering my kids are really close in age to yours, I am very surprised at this… My kids were active surfers a DECADE ago! When they were small, they were limited to websites I trusted completely like nickjr and disney. Then they gradually asked for more places and sought out my opinion of good places to go for school stuff etc. I do remember the disney site having a lot of fun games that taught online safety and stranger dangers online… The girl has had an email for like five years, and a FB for over two. I have had to have the girl unfriend someone due too many bad messages. But I look at it the same way as public school. We can’t be with them all the time. We have to teach them as best as we can and set them free to make their own choices. Hopefully, with lots of trust and communication, things will turn out for the best, or at the minimum, they will learn the first time from their mistakes.
I think you don’t have to worry about your kids no matter how much you helicopter… I’ve never heard of amish gangs or drug dealing cows!
Ah so true and you’re right. I really figured my kids would have been online a lot more by now but they’ve never shown much interest in “surfing the web” as we say. Maybe it has something to do with me being online as much as I am that they haven’t felt the need. I remember a lot of kids’ sites that we tried out and visited in the early days but a cruddy Internet connection (gotta love the country) kept us from visiting often. That said, Peanut LOVES PBSkids.org and I’m happy to let him play there!